The man with the mustache was launching an invasion into everyone within grabbing distance’s personal space. He grabbed knees, slapped backsides, and pinched cheeks until he’d successfully made the entire room uncomfortable. People were posturing like folding chairs- curling up into themselves, flattening against walls, trying to escape further molestation. One woman, a loud, vehement feminist, turned and announced that she preferred her tush unfondled. The man laughed like she’d told the best joke he’d heard in weeks and attempted another swat, at which she scuttled from the room, stabbing each tile with stilettos and cursing under her breath.